I NEED HELP
In an emergency please call the police on 999, if you cannot speak then wait to be connected and press 55 and the police will attend.
For any other support please call us on 0800 111 4998 between 8.30am - 5.30pm Monday - Friday and 10am - 1pm Saturday and Sunday, or email info@coventryhaven.co.uk. In an emergency always call 999.
Out of our normal office hours, please call the National free Helpline 24/7 on 0808 2000 247
Watch this short video, about domestic abuse and how it presents. Do you recognise any of these behaviours? : The #WhatAreYouDoing Campaign - click here to watch
Learning Difficulties
Do you have learning difficulties or want to support someone who has, please see the video here which you may find helpful.
CONCERNED FOR SOMEONE ELSE or a child
How you can help:
Listen to her, try to understand and take care not to blame her. Tell her that she is not alone and that there are many women like her in the same situation
Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk to them about experiencing abuse. Give her time to talk, but don’t push her to go into too much detail if she doesn’t want to.
Acknowledge that she is in a frightening and very difficult situation
Tell her that no one deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what her abuser has told her. Nothing she can do or say can justify the abuser’s behaviour
Support her as a friend. Encourage her to express her feelings, whatever they are. Allow her to make her own decisions
Don’t tell her to leave the relationship if she is not ready to do this. This is her own decision
Ask if she has suffered physical harm. If so, offer to go with her to a hospital or to see her GP
Help her to report the assault to the police if she chooses to do so
Offer to keep a record of any incident that she dictates to you
Be ready to provide information on organisations that offer help to abused women and their children. Explore the available options with her. Tell her about the Women's Aid helpline that is free and open 24/7 on 0808 2000 247, and how to access their website https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Go with her to visit a solicitor if she is ready to take this step
Plan safe strategies for leaving the abusive relationship
Arrange an agreed plan so you both know what to do if she needs you in an emergency and how you would communicate
Let her create her own boundaries of what she thinks is safe and what is not safe; don’t urge her to follow any strategies that she expresses doubt about
Offer your friend the use of your address and/or telephone number to leave information and messages, and tell her you will look after an emergency bag for her, if she wants this
Look after yourself while you are supporting someone through such a difficult and emotional time. Ensure that you do not put yourself into a dangerous situation; for example, do not offer to talk to the abuser about your friend or let yourself be seen by the abuser, as a threat to their relationship
Questions you could ask, to open a conversation, if you suspect there might be abuse happening:
How are you feeling at the moment?
Your wellbeing is important to me and I’ve noticed that you seem distracted/ upset at the moment – are you ok?
If there’s anything you’d like to talk to me about at any time I’m always here to support you
Is everything ok at home?
I noticed the way you were spoken to; how did that make you feel?
You don’t have to tell me anything, but please know that I would like to support you if and when you feel ready
What support do you think might help? What would you like to happen? How can I help you?
Please note that we are more than happy to support you too in how to help a friend, if you yourself need assistance with how best to offer safe support. Please call us on 02476 444 077 or email info@coventryhaven.co.uk with your contact details.
If a child reveals abuse
If a child talks to you about domestic abuse it's important to:
do not confront the alleged abuser
listen carefully to what they're saying
let them know they've done the right thing by telling you
tell them it's not their fault
say you'll take them seriously
explain what you'll do next
report what the child has told you as soon as possible - call 08001114998 for advice and support; call 999 in an emergency
Strangulation or Suffocation
Strangulation is serious and there is no safe way to be strangled. Only 50% of people who are strangled will have a visible neck injury. Read the guidance for victims/survivors of strangulation here. - Institute for Addressing Strangulation (IFAS) - https://ifas.org.uk/